Tuesday, August 18, 2009

towards new jersey and farther west

I am on an airport runway in Newark, to my left is a Korean woman with a rosary in her hands.  She fingers a few beads while looking out the window.  One of the flight attendants is quite beautiful.  As she closes the overhead compartments, her skirt lifts so I can see the lace on her black thigh highs.  I look closer and I see small scars on the inside of her arm, it appears as though she created the tiny marks.  She never noticed me staring her.  We are about to depart Newark to continue onto Las Vegas.  I know a man from New Jersey.  He once cornered me against a wall on his staircase and kissed me swiftly.  We talked for several hours but we do not talk anymore.  I think he has the wrong impression of me, I have not kissed many men, though I am sure he would not believe this.  I often think of calling him but then I imagine us falling in love and getting married and growing old.  And I imagine having to visit New Jersey several times a year and I hang up the phone.  

linens and dreams

While they laughed and she slid into the place that seemed to mine all along, I wandered into the bathroom of my childhood, the one from my grandmother’s house, and I cried in front of the mirror as my teeth crumbled and fell from my mouth. While I desperately tried to shove the rotting pieces back into my gums, my teeth turned into crystals. Filling my mouth, I began to vomit shiny, clear gems and the shards made it difficult for me to breath and impossible for me to talk. I woke late that morning and roamed through my house as if I was were lost and I touched every object to make sure I was awake and to remember and absorb its significance. He slept until the early afternoon and when he woke I knew he had to leave and could never return. As I sat next to him, all I could think of was laundry day.